Meet Brendan: Therapist at Full Self Psychotherapy
TL;DR: Brendan O'Connell, LMSW, believes that healing begins by making sense of yourself, not by trying to fix yourself. His approach to therapy is rooted in the understanding that our emotions, behaviors, and ways of coping often develop for good reasons, even when they no longer serve us. By integrating EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and mind-body approaches, Brendan helps teens and adults explore their experiences with greater curiosity, compassion, and clarity so they can build a more trusting relationship with themselves and engage with life more freely.
Supporting People in Moving From Survival to Connection: My Approach to Therapy
One of the beliefs that most shapes my work as a therapist is that we all make sense in our own context.
Our thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and ways of coping often have reasons behind them—and none of that means we are broken. We don't need to be fixed before we're worthy of care, connection, and compassion.
For many people, seeking therapy or other support comes after spending a long time trying to figure things out on their own.
Maybe you've been carrying stress, anxiety, self-doubt, relationship challenges, trauma, or difficult experiences that continue to affect you. Maybe you've gotten really good at holding everything together on the surface while feeling disconnected, exhausted, or stuck underneath it all.
Offering and engaging in the process of therapy is one of the great gifts in my life.
One of my favorite parts of this work is watching people discover that they don't have to keep fighting themselves.
What draws me to this work is an earnest belief that people and their experiences make sense. Even when we're struggling, there are usually good reasons for why we feel, think, or react the way we do.
I love helping people better understand themselves—not so they can become someone different, but so they can feel more connected to who they already are.
Of course, this belief is much easier to hold for others than it is for ourselves.
Many of us have spent years being told, directly or indirectly, that our emotions, needs, reactions, or ways of coping are problems to be fixed.
Part of therapy can be creating enough space to become curious about ourselves instead of immediately assuming something is wrong.
The Way I Think About Therapy
One of the most important things I want people to know is that I don't see them as broken.
Many of the things people are hardest on themselves about—anxiety, overthinking, people-pleasing, shutting down, avoiding conflict, feeling numb, being self-critical—often started as ways of getting through difficult situations. These responses may not always be helpful anymore, but they usually developed for a reason.
Instead of asking, "What's wrong with me?", I think a more helpful question is often, "What has my life taught me to do to get by?"
When we approach ourselves with curiosity rather than judgment, things can start to shift.
I also believe that context is essential. We don't exist in isolation. Our families, relationships, communities, identities, cultures, and life experiences all shape how we see ourselves and move through the world.
Therapy isn't just about looking inward—it's also about understanding the environments and experiences that have influenced us and continue to impact us today.
Sometimes the struggles people bring to therapy aren't only about what is happening inside them. They can also be connected to the expectations, messages, and systems they have had to navigate throughout their lives.
Part of therapy can be learning to recognize which beliefs genuinely belong to you and which were inherited from family, culture, relationships, or society.
Some of those inheritances may feel like burdens, while others may be beautiful heirlooms worth carrying forward.
My role isn't to decide which is which—it's to help you explore what feels true for you.
How I Work
As an IFS and EMDR therapist serving teens and adults in Maryland, DC, and Virginia, I use approaches that help people develop a deeper understanding of themselves while creating space for healing and growth.
I use Internal Family Systems (IFS), EMDR, and other mind-body focused therapies, but I try not to make therapy feel like you're learning a bunch of therapy jargon.
At the heart of my work is helping people understand themselves with greater compassion and clarity.
Sometimes that means exploring different sides of yourself that seem to be pulling in different directions. Maybe one part of you wants to speak up while another is afraid of being rejected. Maybe one part wants to slow down while another feels like it has to keep pushing.
Sometimes it means working through experiences that still feel heavy, painful, or unfinished.
Sometimes it means paying attention to what your body is trying to tell you when words aren't enough, usually by slowing down enough to notice what has been happening beneath the surface.
There isn't one right way to do therapy.
My goal is to meet you where you are and find an approach that fits you rather than expecting you to fit a particular model.
What Therapy With Me Is Like
I aim to create a space that feels warm, collaborative, and real—a space where you don't have to have everything figured out before you walk in the door.
I also recognize that you're the one who gets to decide whether I feel safe enough and helpful enough.
While I bring training and experience to the room, I also believe you are the expert on your own life. Therapy works best when we can bring those different forms of knowledge together and stay curious about what emerges.
Some of the best sessions happen when people feel safe enough to be honest about what they're actually experiencing—not what they think they should be experiencing or what they think I want to hear.
That can even include clients sharing that they are frustrated with me, disagree with me, or feel misunderstood.
I don't believe strong therapeutic relationships come from never getting it right. They come from being able to talk openly about what is happening, take accountability, repair when needed, and keep moving forward together.
At times, we'll explore difficult emotions and experiences.
Other times, we'll laugh, celebrate progress, or notice the small shifts that often lead to meaningful change.
I don't believe healing comes from forcing yourself to become someone different.
I believe it comes from understanding yourself more fully and building a different relationship with the parts of you that have been working so hard for so long.
Who I Enjoy Working With
I especially enjoy working with teens and adults who feel stuck, disconnected, overwhelmed, or caught in patterns that no longer work.
I also enjoy working with people who have experienced complex trauma, difficult relationships, or histories of feeling misunderstood by others—including by helping professionals, mental health systems, or previous therapy experiences.
Many of the people I work with have spent years believing there is something fundamentally wrong with them because of the ways they experience emotions, relationships, or themselves.
My approach is grounded in the belief that these experiences make sense within the context of a person's life and deserve curiosity, compassion, and understanding rather than judgment.
Many of the people I work with have spent much of their lives trying to meet expectations, take care of others, keep the peace, or get through difficult circumstances.
They often arrive in therapy wanting more than just coping skills (although I love me some coping skills!).
They want to feel more connected to themselves and more able to live according to their own values rather than the expectations placed on them by family, relationships, culture, or society.
Whether you're navigating the impact of trauma, struggling in relationships, questioning who you are, or simply feeling like something isn't working anymore, therapy can be a place to slow down and explore what's getting in the way.
What I Hope People Leave Therapy With
My hope isn't that therapy helps you become a perfect version of yourself.
It's that you leave feeling more connected to yourself and more trusting of your own experience.
That you have a greater capacity to navigate life's challenges without abandoning your needs, values, or relationships.
That you can notice fear, shame, self-doubt, and old patterns with greater compassion rather than immediately getting pulled into them.
And that you have more freedom to choose how you want to engage with your life, rather than feeling confined by old wounds, survival strategies, or expectations that were never truly yours.
Life will still be life. There will still be challenges, uncertainty, and difficult moments that are part of being human.
But I hope therapy helps you meet those moments with greater clarity, self-compassion, connection, and choice.
Looking for a therapist in Washington, D.C., who can help you move from survival to connection?
Take your first step towards understanding your experience and living with greater self-compassion, capacity, and freedom.
(Washington, D.C., Virginia, and Maryland residents only)
About the author
Brendan O’Connell (he/him) is a Licensed Master Social Worker (LMSW) who provides therapy with a warm, authentic, and collaborative approach. He serves teens and adults in DC, MD and VA navigating relationship struggles, self-worth challenges, and the weight of past experiences. He specializes in supporting individuals dealing with anxiety, complex trauma, and depression.
Drawing on advanced training in Internal Family Systems (IFS), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and Somatic Experiencing (SE), he helps clients move from feeling stuck to experiencing meaningful relief, choice, and connection.
He holds a Master of Social Work from the University of Maryland, where he built a foundation in supporting clients through a relational and trauma-informed lens at an Oncology Center and an Outpatient Mental Health Clinic.
Brendan meets with clients in-person at our DC office and via Telehealth.
