Couples Therapy in Washington, D.C.
Because the argument is rarely just about the dishes.
You love each other. But lately, being together has been really fucking hard.
Maybe you keep having the same fight. You know each other’s arguments by heart at this point, and somehow you still end up there.
Or things aren’t bad, exactly. You’re getting through the week. Work is busy. Life is busy. You talk about what needs to get done. But you don’t feel very connected anymore.
Maybe there’s been a bigger rupture and neither of you knows how to move past it.
Whatever brought you here, there’s probably some version of:
We can’t keep doing this.
That doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is over. It might mean the way you’ve been trying to fix it isn’t working.
Schedule a Couples Therapy Consultation
How did we get here?
Couples can get really stuck in cycles.
A conversation starts with something pretty ordinary and suddenly it’s about everything. The dishes become you’re taking me for granted. Asking for space becomes you don’t want to deal with me. A question becomes criticism. An attempt to explain yourself sounds defensive.
By the end, you might not even remember how the fight started.
And the frustrating thing is that you may already know your pattern.
I know I get defensive.
I know I push when I’m anxious.
I know I shut down.
Knowing why you do something doesn’t always stop you from doing it.
That’s where couples therapy can help.
We’re interested in what’s underneath the fight.
Communication skills have their place. Sometimes couples really do need to learn how to talk to each other differently.
But we’re also interested in why this particular conversation gets so charged in the first place.
Why did that comment hurt so much?
Why did asking for reassurance turn into an argument?
Why does needing space feel like rejection?
Why does being disappointed in your partner so quickly become I can’t depend on you?
Our couples work is informed by Internal Family Systems (IFS), which gives us a way to understand the parts of ourselves that tend to take over when we feel hurt, scared, criticized, rejected, or misunderstood.
The defensive part. The one that needs an answer right now. The one that wants to disappear from the conversation altogether.
We want to understand those reactions rather than just tell you to stop having them.
Learn More About IFS
Your past can show up in your relationship.
This doesn’t have to mean spending months talking about your parents.
It does mean paying attention when something happening now touches something older.
Maybe conflict makes your whole body tense before the conversation has really begun. Or criticism hits a particularly raw place. Depending on someone feels scary. Someone pulling away feels unbearable.
Our trauma-informed and somatic approach helps us work with those reactions too.
Because it’s pretty hard to “communicate effectively” when your nervous system is already convinced something terrible is happening.
Learn More About Somatic Therapy
When ADHD or autism is part of the relationship
Neurodivergence can create some very specific relationship friction.
A partner forgets something important and it feels like they don’t care.
Someone needs more time to process, but that gets interpreted as avoiding the conversation.
One person needs predictability. The other feels controlled.
Sometimes the hardest part isn’t even the original difference anymore. It’s the story that has grown around it.
If you cared, you would remember.
If you loved me, you would know how overwhelmed I am.
Nothing I do is ever enough.
We work with neurodivergent clients all the time at FSP, and we bring that same affirming lens into couples work.
The goal isn’t to make one person’s brain work more like the other person’s. It’s to figure out what’s actually happening and what might work better for both of you.
Learn More About Neurodivergent-Affirming Therapy
LGBTQIA+ Affirming & Inclusive Relationship Therapy
Relationships don't all look the same, and we don't believe they should.
At Full Self Psychotherapy, we welcome queer couples across sexual orientations, gender identities, and relationship structures, including polyamorous and consensually non-monogamous relationships. We understand that relationships don't exist in a vacuum. Experiences of identity, family acceptance, discrimination, and societal expectations can shape how partners connect, communicate, and navigate conflict.
Our approach is affirming, collaborative, and grounded in curiosity rather than assumptions about what a relationship should look like. Whether you're working through conflict, rebuilding trust, or simply wanting to feel closer to your partner, we create space for both of you to show up as your full selves.
Learn More About LGBTQIA+ Affirming TherapySometimes we need more than 45 minutes.
Just when you're getting to the heart of something in couples therapy, it can feel like time's up.
Our couples intensives, starting at 90 minutes and extending to a dedicated afternoon or day, give you space to get beneath the same old arguments, really hear each other, and start feeling like you're on the same team again.
Imagine giving your relationship the time and attention it deserves, without trying to squeeze meaningful work into an already packed weekly schedule for weeks or months on end.
Because the goal isn't to spend forever in couples therapy. It's to actually move forward.
Learn More About Therapy IntensivesFrom the blog
Read more about relationships on our blog
ADHDADHD in Relationships: Repair Without Self-Abandonment
November 18, 2025
Trauma & HealingAm I Avoidant or Just Scared? Understanding the Roots of Emotional Withdrawal
June 10, 2025
Trauma & Healing“Why Do I Always Have to Be the Bigger Person?”
December 23, 2025
AnxietyLet Them... But What If I Can't? The Trouble With Letting Go When You Have Anxiety
June 3, 2025
Couples Therapy FAQ
Is couples therapy really worth it?
It can be, especially when the two of you have been trying to fix the same thing on your own and keep getting stuck.
Couples therapy also doesn’t have to mean “save the relationship at all costs.” Sometimes the work is about reconnecting. Sometimes it’s about repairing something painful. Sometimes it’s about getting clearer about what each person wants.
What are signs couples counseling is needed?
You don’t need to wait until things are terrible. Having the same fight over and over, avoiding conversations because they never go well, growing resentment, feeling lonely in the relationship, changes in intimacy, or simply thinking we shouldn’t be struggling this much are all reasons people come to couples therapy.
What type of therapist is best for couples therapy?
Look for someone with training in couples work whose approach makes sense to both of you.
At FSP, our couples work is informed by IFS, trauma therapy, somatic approaches, and relational psychotherapy. We’re interested in what keeps happening between you, while also paying attention to what gets activated for each person along the way. Meet our couples therapist, Brendan O’Connell.
Will our therapist tell us who’s right?
Probably not. Sorry.
That doesn’t mean everything gets treated as equal or that hurtful behavior gets a pass. But figuring out who technically won the argument usually isn’t what helps couples get unstuck.
What if my partner doesn’t really want to come?
That’s common. Both people don’t need to be equally excited about therapy. But there does need to be enough willingness to show up and participate. We can work with some skepticism.
Couples Therapy in Washington, D.C. & Online
Couples therapy is available in person at our Dupont Circle office and virtually for clients who prefer to meet from home.
Schedule a Couples Therapy Consultation
Virtual Therapy: Healing from the Comfort of Home
Life is busy, and carving out time for therapy can feel like just another stressor. That is why we offer virtual therapy: a flexible, accessible option designed to fit seamlessly into your routine.
Imagine settling into your favorite chair, a warm drink in hand, your pet by your side, and starting your session from the privacy of your own space. Many clients find it easier to open up when they are in a familiar environment, free from the pressures of commuting or worrying about being seen at a therapy office.
Virtual therapy offers all the same benefits of in-person sessions, with added convenience and confidentiality. You can save time, avoid transportation hassles, and focus entirely on your healing. Your sessions will be held over a secure, HIPAA-compliant video platform, ensuring your privacy and safety every step of the way.
Learn More About Virtual TherapyWe can start with what keeps happening.
You don’t need to have figured out exactly what’s wrong with the relationship before coming in.
That’s part of what we’ll figure out together.
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